Parenting rule #1: Don’t teach them they can have anybody they want. Teach them, instead, they shouldn’t want anybody they can have!
I hear people building up their kid’s egos as though they are the only attractive person alive.
Look, I love my kids too, don’t get me wrong. I want them to know they are important. Teaching your kids that they shouldn’t settle is a good thing, but not when it blows their head up with an ego so large it can fill the room with hot air.
If you are one of the kids I am talking about, let me tell you something your parents may not have; you are not indispensable. As easy as the world is now, a guy or girl can replace you with another attractive person in a matter of hours.
Being dumped can leave you feeling worthless, sad, depressed, and maybe even feeling like you have no hope.
Don’t place your value in your relationships. And definitely don’t place it in your appearance, which can change in a matter of moments.
I once read an article about an attractive female who was caught in a car fire. Her attractiveness was changed in a matter of moments, and so was her entire world.
Her husband still loved her regardless of her fleeting beauty. He said he stayed with her because he didn’t marry her for her looks. He saw beyond the face and into the heart.
Let me tell you something you may not realize…
…Attractiveness doesn’t give you your worth. Value comes from a good heart and that is what I want to talk to you about.
I buy and sell antiques as a side job. I occasionally find something that is so valuable, I just can’t let it get away. I do whatever it takes to take possession of that property because I see it as a treasure.
Sometimes the value is monetary. Sometimes it is sentimental. Sometimes it is because the piece is just so beautiful, I don’t want to pass it up.
However, the beauty that a piece adds to my life, doesn’t always prompt me to keep it. Most of the time I sell beautiful antiques.
It is usually the value behind the beauty, that makes me want to keep it as my own.
For example, I have an old printer press cabinet that I decided to keep if I can’t get what I want for it. The character it adds to my room is far too great to want to sell it for a cheap price. I do have it listed for sale in a few places, but I probably wouldn’t take much less than I’m asking for it because I know the value is there.
The market value the piece has is far too great for me to let it go easily. I rarely hold onto things for a long period of time because selling things is what I do. However, this piece is special. And, because it is special, I cherish it much more than most of my other material possessions.
I protect its value by keeping it as my own.
There isn’t a thing in my house I wouldn’t part with in a second if need be. But I would think twice about letting my printer press cabinet go easily.
Do you catch my drift?
Things we find valuable, we fight to keep them. We protect them. We cherish them.
If you give something away for free, chances are the value will not be realized. Be something another person sees as irreplaceable.
I’ve had so many beautiful antiques throughout the years, I wouldn’t be able to sit here and name them all. I can recall about $40,000-$50,000 worth recently, that I sold to remodel my house, put new wheels on my husband’s truck, and pay off some of our debts with.
Many times, I sold them below value in order to replace them with the money that I needed for other things. I didn’t think twice about replacing those items with money.
All beautiful antiques, all worthy of my time, all of which I SOLD.
I’ve rarely had something so beautiful that I kept it permanently.
A good heart is like a fine antique. It is rare. It is valued. It is something that other people try to latch onto because it is so hard to find.
Attractiveness can only get a person’s attention. A good heart can keep that attention.
That is why I say beauty is vain. It is something that doesn’t last forever, it has no real value, and it really isn’t even worth someone’s time long-term. A good heart, on the other hand, is something that people will notice beyond an introduction.
I once knew a pretty girl who had a bitter, angry, and easily offended heart. She just couldn’t get past what she needed and wanted out of life, and expected other people to go out of their way to please her. Those who didn’t got booted out the door because she saw it as disrespect.
I also knew a guy who was like that. Attractive, clean-cut, and fun to be around. But his heart, well, it wasn’t so clean. He too was in and out of relationships.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of relationships. Being able to stay in one doesn’t prove you have a good heart.
But a heart that is not so good is easily replaced. Beauty doesn’t keep anyone’s attention, nor does it earn anyone’s respect.
A kind heart is something a person will take notice of permanently. Compassion and love for others will cause you to shine above all others. Forgiveness will make you stand out where others don’t. Goodness and mercy will give others a reason to want to keep you around.
Be the kind of person people want to hold onto. Be the kind of person that realizes where your value is.
Above all, protect your most valuable asset by settling for no less than respect. Don’t ignore your attractiveness, but don’t abuse it either. Don’t let it become your main focus. Don’t try to get attention only with your looks.
Last but not least, don’t think of yourself as indispensable. If you do, you may be the first thing a person let’s go of.