Can’t Anyone Understand What I’m Going Through?

Can’t Anyone Understand What I’m Going Through?

Last year, I had testing done at the Mayo Clinic. It was two weeks’ worth so we used it for vacation time as well. I was reading an article about a lady who had moved and her daughter was anxious about finding friends at her new school.

She told her mother, “I hope there will be at least one other new person there,” and after a long pause she said again, “Just one.”

The article was about how just one person can make a difference in helping you feel comfortable, wanted, or at least less invisible.

On the other hand, one person with a wrong or unhelpful attitude can make you feel unwanted, or out of place. One rude person can make you feel very overwhelmed and anxious.

Just one person can change your mood or take you from having a good day to a bad one.

MY ONE PERSON

At about the age of 15, I had just transferred to another High School and didn’t have anyone to talk to yet.

I had transferred in the middle of the year so everyone else was already accustomed to their schedules and classmates. I was the new girl and was struggling to get the hang of vocational school. I already felt out of sorts. Shy and awkward, I was spending my lunch periods in the bathroom, wishing my day was over.

One day during class, a girl decided to bring everyone’s attention to me. Out of the blue one of my female classmates stood up from her chair, put her hands on her hips, and said in a very loud sassy voice, “She will never have any friends here if she doesn’t figure out how to move her lips and talk to people.”

Then she sat down and went back to whispering and giggling to her friends in an obvious conversation about me.

As I sat there feeling all alone, I sank way down into my seat wondering where in the world that attack came from?

Just one person, a girl I didn’t even know, caused me to have a horrible day and to hate school even more than I already did. I went home feeling unaccepted and just downright embarrassed! 

I decided I would NEVER treat another human being like that. That total lack of character reminds me to be kind to others now because I know how bad it feels to be treated that way.

There are positive and negative people in this world who will make a difference in your life. The impact it has is up to you.

As I’ve grown older, I realize that people with darkened hearts are all over the world and can’t be avoided. I normally ignore people who act that way.

It is just a reflection of who they are on the inside and an outward display of their own insecurities. 

Instead of being bitter toward her, I used it as a lesson.

She helped me to see that how another person feels is important and although I haven’t perfectly succeeded, I’ve tried to think about that when communicating with others.

There is no way to know how the words you are thinking are going to affect another person if you say them out loud. I get that. But I feel that kindness is always the best policy.

Ironically her bad behavior created a good trait in me.

You are not always going to have your “Just One.”

There isn’t always going to be someone who understands or sympathizes with you. Our friends and family members can’t feel our pain.

This is why you need to have your own personal relationship with God. I’m not talking about a religion, I’ve never seen religion help anyone.

I’m talking about communication.

Just knowing you have someone to turn to is not only therapeutic, it is extremely important to know you are not alone.

TIME AWAY

While we were in St. Augustine, things got stressful.

Being poked and prodded was stressful enough. Add being in a new place with men who constantly talk about cars to the equation and it spells disaster.

I just wanted a few hours to myself to read and get a little writing done.

While reading an article, needing desperately to clear my head and just relax for a bit, my husband steps into the room and starts playing a Donald Trump video on his phone.

The night before had been yet another drawn-out night of insomnia, which I’d had for over a year. I felt frustrated and annoyed, but I watched his video anyway.

Then after being told politely that I was trying to read, he sat down on the bed and started playing music on his phone. UGH! He was not doing anything wrong, but it added to my already rising insomnia-induced frustration.

He is good to me. I felt bad for it but despite my logical side telling me his apparent unawareness to my current needs wasn’t a big deal, this one small event turned into an argument. My rope unraveled and ruined the next two days of our vacation.

Okay, so I admit it, I’m not perfect. 🙄

I was on heavy medication and with the stress of everything that was going on, I felt that my life was spinning out of control.

I’m a logical person and realized it wasn’t my family’s fault that they didn’t understand how I was feeling. Most of the time they respect my need to get away for some alone time.

This was just a bad week for me and my tolerance level was way down.

I’ve never claimed to be the most patient person in the world but it does take a lot of patience to live with three men, especially men who constantly pull on you for attention.

Their obsession with cars sometimes goes too far but I try to be understanding and patient because, well, they are MEN and men like cars.

That week in particular I needed my “Just One.” Just one person to understand. Just one person to sympathize. That one person was nowhere to be found.

When you find yourself in this particular situation where you need someone, anyone to be understanding, take a step back for a moment. Try to see yourself through the eyes of the people that are around you.

Ask yourself, “Can they possibly know how I feel? Do they realize that I have these current needs? Can they possibly know what my emotions are doing right now? Have I expressed myself in a way that would help them understand?”

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you need to take a moment to try and explain yourself.

A lack of communication will many times cause us to not have our “Just One,” but it doesn’t have to be that way.

https://www.facebook.com/mywritebiz/

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