Last year, while on vacation having testing done at the Mayo Clinic, I was reading an article about a lady who had moved and her daughter was anxious about finding friends at her new school.
She told her mother, “I hope there will be at least one other new person there,” and after a long pause she said again, “Just one.”
The article was about how just one person can make a difference in helping you feel comfortable, wanted, or at least less invisible.
On the other hand, one person with a wrong or unhelpful attitude can make you feel unwanted, or out of place. One rude person can make you feel very overwhelmed and anxious.
Just one person can change your mood or take you from having a good day to a bad one.
Talk about hitting home!
At about the age of 15, I had just transferred to another High School and didn’t have anyone to talk to yet.
I had transferred in the middle of the year so everyone else was already accustomed to their schedules and classmates and I was the new girl.
One day, just out of the blue, one of my female classmates stood up, put her hands on her hips and said in a very loud sassy voice, “She will never have any friends here if she doesn’t figure out how to move her lips and talk to people.”
Then she sat down and went back to whispering and giggling to her friends in an obvious conversation about me.
I sank way down into my seat wondering where in the world that attack came from?
Just one person, a girl I didn’t even know, caused me to have an awkwardly bad day and I went home feeling unaccepted and just downright embarrassed!
I decided right then and there I would NEVER treat another human being like that.
There are positive and negative people in this world who will make a difference in your life. The impact it has on you is up to you.
As I’ve grown older, I realize that people with darkened hearts are all over the world and can’t be avoided, so I normally just ignore people who act that way.
It is just a reflection of who they are on the inside and an outward display of their own insecurities.
Instead of being bitter toward her, I used it as a lesson.
She helped me to see that how another person feels is important and although I haven’t perfectly succeeded, I’ve tried to think about that when communicating with others.
I mean, let’s be honest, there is NO WAY to know how the words you are thinking are going to affect another person if you say them out loud.
But, I do try to at least be considerate and not act like a heel.
So, ironically her bad behavior created a good trait in me.
TIME TO GET AWAY
You are not always going to have your “Just One.”
There isn’t always going to be someone who understands or sympathizes since our friends and family members can’t feel our pain.
This is why you need to have your own personal relationship with God. I’m not talking about a religion, I’ve never seen religion help anyone!
I’m talking about communication. Just knowing you have someone to turn to is not only therapeutic, it is extremely important to know you are not alone.
Last year we spent two weeks in St. Augustine, Fl. while running tests at the Mayo Clinic.
We had been so stressed for the past couple of years that we just needed to get away and this was a great opportunity.
Being poked and prodded is stressful enough, add being in a new place with men who constantly talk about cars, and you have stress city!
I just wanted a few hours to myself to read and get a little writing done.
While reading an article, needing desperately to clear my head and just relax for a bit, Michael (my husband) steps into the room and starts playing a Donald Trump video on his phone.
My political views aside, Mr. President’s demeanor just rubs me the wrong way and his lack of grace in his speech unnerves me.
The night before had been yet another drawn-out night of insomnia which I’d had for over a year and I felt very frustrated and annoyed, but I watched his video anyway.
Then after being told politely that I was trying to read, he sat down on the bed and started playing music on his phone; not doing anything wrong, but it added to my already rising insomnia-induced frustration!
He is always good to me and I felt bad for it but despite my logical side telling me his apparent unawareness to my current needs wasn’t a big deal, this one small event turned into several small events and eventually, my rope unraveled and ruined the next two days of our vacation!
Okay, so I admit it, I’m not perfect. 🙂
I was on heavy medication and with the stress of tests, constant voices, tv’s, radios, video games, teenagers, and with everyone needing you everywhere life can spin out of control very quickly!
I’m a very logical person and realize it isn’t my family’s fault that they don’t know how I feel and most of the time they do respect my need to get away for some alone time.
This was just a bad week for me and my tolerance level was WAY down.
Now, I’ve never claimed to be the most patient person in the world but it does take a lot of patience to live with three men, especially men who constantly talk (specifically about cars).
Their obsession sometimes goes too far but I try to be understanding and patient because, well, they are MEN and men like cars.
I guess what I’m saying is we have a huge respect for one another’s patience and willingness to be easy to get along with.
That week in particular I needed my “Just One,” just one person to understand, just one person to sympathize, but that one person was no where to be found.
When you find yourself in this particular situation where you need someone, anyone to be understanding just take a step back for a moment and try to see yourself through the eyes of the people that are around you.
Ask yourself, “Can they possibly know how I feel? Do they realize that I have these current needs? Can they possibly know what my emotions are doing right now? Have I expressed myself in a way that would help them understand?”
If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you need to take a moment to try and explain yourself.
A lack of communication will many times cause us to not have our “Just One” but it doesn’t have to be that way.
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